So yes, one day I will rent or download a decent version of Twilight and watch it. I know, I know . The horror, the horror, but again, the movie is a phenomenon watched by more people than read the news or who know what proportional representation is. Movies are unfortunately one of the largest sources of cultural commonality (or put simple ‘glue’) that we got, and Twilight is one of the only ones this year marketed to girls.
That fact alone is painful. Aside from the zillions of young minds warped by the books (Proving once again, for the record this time, that being on the New York Times bestseller list doesn’t mean squat), there’s a movie that all those same minds, plus their friends and friends of friends, also saw. Thusly setting women’s rights and gender enlightenment back a decade or more.
But aside from that, I have a sick curiosity about it, because hey, a woman directed it, and a woman scripted it, and last time I checked, women made up 6% of the people behind the camera in Hollywood. So bully for them.
Additionally, as a film student, and a literary snob, I firmly believe that there is no POSSIBLE WAY that the movie could be worse than the book. It Just. Isn’t. Possible. Even if someone took the book and made it into a screenplay almost word for word (god forbid) it would still be better than the book because that’s how bad of a writer Stephanie Myers really is.
Hell, the book cries out to be a screenplay. Whole pages can be omitted without consequence. Bella listened to her Casio cd player that was old and purple? Bella brushed her teeth with cool mint Crest? Edward’s arms are perfect/manly/handsome/muscley/perfect and ten pages later are STILL PERFECT – WOW WHO CARES.
Anyway, so the reason for this was: I felt masochistic and watched the first five minutes of the movie on Alluc. Verdict?
Better.
So much better. Dispensed with all Bella’s redundant crap in the first two chapters, boiled it down to about two minutes, and made it feel more emotional and real than anything Meyer put to paper in the first 35 pages. Established Forks, Charlie and Jacob Black in under five minutes with some cute touches and hella superiour acting by Charlie and The Camera itself. Really, the movie is still going to be about abstinence, abstinence, Bella being a sack of useless crap, Edward moping OH MY HUMANITY and so on and so forth, gender roles, gender gender gender mormon sermon, gender.
Back to the book soon, currently procrastinating on some public affairs.
